Just a piece of my mind

My friends of many years want to continue to play games with certain things in our lives. I'm a serious girl and I just move on. I don't want a exclusive romantic future with them as much as I love it in my dreams. But in reality, we don't genuinely like each other enough to really do it. We are good ideas and that's about it. I can't do that because life is real. 

I will be divorcing my husband and moving on. My ex husband needs to wake up and stop trying to win me back with changing himself and wasting away his life, I literally tell him almost every phone call that is 2 or more weeks apart. Pain is cute and I do it sometimes too because it keeps your circle mature and able to develop into what you want it to be, but we are getting old. I am getting old. 

Jamaica is my happiness plan and I'm not ashamed to say my friendships there are so much better and easier for me than trying in the USA. I'm not struggling here, I'm just getting headaches for no reason. As I Jamaican, I should've had a kid before I ever got the chance to change my mind. This is not healthy for me. I can buy the life that I want myself, I don't need to put my emotions on the line for it cuz that's ridiculous.

I've said this already, I have literally revised this stance. I'm in a relationship I might be very happy with but these friends of mine are not true lol. So why pick one because "you cant have it all"?